Emo time

So you may be wondering why I named this the path back to dance?  I have always loved to dance, and being unable to really dance has made me quite sad.  That is what I am most looking forward to, being able to shake it.  Plus, there are a ton of songs I really want to dance to:  Justin Timberlake's "Can't Stop the Feeling," Drake's "One Dance," Sia's "Cheap Thrills," and I know there are lots more. 

    If you read my post of Just the Facts, I tried to leave out all the emotions.  I really didn't think anything was that different for me until I thought I might have to have back surgery or wear a brace, but then I didn't need that either.  In high school, I was in marching band and I vividly remember the assistant band director trying to get my shoulders level and they just wouldn't (another side effect of the hip deformity).  I had a bit of a limp, and over the years it got slowly worse.  Being aware of this difference made me slightly depressed at times and an overall feeling of not being good enough.  I would ask God why I was made this way, and while I don't have a clear answer.  I do know, that it has made me humble and more sensitive to others' feelings and how they view themselves.  This has helped me in my classroom so many times.  I also know it has made me strong and independent, but also made me realize when to ask for help.  I wish I would have treated myself better when I was younger: ate healthier and exercised more.   I know it is a coping mechanism, and I will battle throughout my lifetime.   With my new hip, I plan to do so many things that I have been held back to do...including dancing!
      I hope this reads as hopeful and not depressing.  I really do see the clouds opening up, and I feel the sun will shine on me soon!  Starting with my pre-op appointment in just 2 days!  I am super anxious.  I know I will learn a lot, but part of me thinks being ignorant would be better!